Love You Lots

Rin couldn’t take it anymore.

He rolled around Makoto’s bed, then got up and sat on his knees, then lied back down again. He peeked over to Makoto. Anything.

Rin watched Makoto hum as he penned down his homework. The taller boy had to keep his grades up in Japanese Literature if he wanted to be on the swim team, and Rin knew that he already felt bad when the free time he was supposed to spend with him was taken over by Murakami’s paperback novels. Rin didn’t really mind, it’s just…

“…Makoto.” Rin mumbled.

“Mmm?” Makoto raised his eyebrows and slowly moved his eyes over from his notebook to Rin. “What’s wrong?”

“Um… do you… wanna maybe, ugh, I don’t know…! Like, um.” Rin pushed his head into a pillow, and let out an angry groan. Why can’t I even say it, we’re dating for fuck’s sake!

“Rin?”

Rin could hear Makoto’s shuffling, indicating he was about to get up from his study table. Rin immediately popped his head back up, “Nothing! It’s… nothing.” He said.

Makoto tilted his head. “Are you sure? It seemed pretty important.”

“Yeah, my bad.” Rin rested his head back on the pillow, sighing.

“Do you want to talk, Rin?” Makoto asked, smiling. “Maybe I should take a break, huh.” Makoto removed and folded his glasses. He got up and sat at the foot of his bed.

Rin sat up. “You don’t have to. I don’t mind.” Rin folded his legs together.

“Nah, I was getting bored anyway.” Makoto chuckled. “Were you lonely?”

Rin shook his head. “No.” He lied.

“Hmm. Did you want to do something together, maybe? Something you had in mind?” Makoto asked.

“…No.” Rin’s response got quieter.

Rin stared at the ground. A kiss would be nice.

Rin bit his inner cheek. It didn’t really help that the only physical contact he had with Makoto the whole time they were dating was holding his hand. The boy was always either busy or smiling and never starting anything. It made Rin feel a little insecure.

“Makoto, do you like me?” Rin asked, not moving his eyes from the wooden floor.

“What?” Makoto’s eyes widened a bit. “Ofcourse, I do.” He moved closer to Rin, eyeing him with concern. “Why would you ask that?”

“How come we’ve never, you know, done anything?” Rin asked.

“Huh, like go out on dates?”

“No… like, k-kiss and stuff.” Rin mumbled.

Makoto froze abruptly, and then burst into laughter. “Oh! That’s what you meant. Haha, I’m sorry Rin, I thought- I thought you were going to break up with me or something.”

“What? No! I just, thought you didn’t like me because, you know…” Rin looked at Makoto.

Makoto’s shoulders relaxed. “Rin, I love you.” He said. His directness made Rin want to hide under the duvet, but it put him and his doubts at ease.

Makoto continued. “I’m sorry… I thought I would scare you if I moved too quickly, and make you feel uncomfortable.” Makoto sighed. “I really don’t want to lose you, Rin.”

Rin felt the heat in his cheeks. “Oh…”

Makoto was always, always, considerate. Rin felt guilty for doubting him, he moved closer to Makoto. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

Rin’s eyes widened as he felt Makoto’s lips. Eventhough it was only for a few seconds, it erased all of Rin’s insecurity.

Makoto pulled away slowly. “Sorry… couldn’t help it…” Makoto breathed out.

Rin then moved closer and pecked Makoto’s lips. It was Makoto’s turn to be surprised as Rin smiled against his lips.

“Yeah, me neither.”



END.